


F is for (super dysfunctional) Family

by orphan_account



Category: The Umbrella Academy (Comics), The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alcohol, Drug Use, F/M, I'll add relationships as I write, Still not sure Diego and my OC are endgame, Swearing, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-10
Updated: 2019-03-13
Packaged: 2019-11-15 06:36:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18068438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: The eighth member of the Umbrella Academy isn't special. Not because she didn't have powers, but because she really could not care less about Hargreeves and what he had to say about her anymore. Plus, if she was being completely honest, what kind of person wanted to live a life where they were always immediately classified as an outsider? But now that their patriarch has mysteriously died, she finds herself drawn back to the academy.Some mistakes can't be undone. And sometimes you have to learn that the hard way.(Feel free to replace Nim's name with your own! The idea was that she would be the reader if they were to be named by another person as part of the Umbrella Academy)





	1. Saturday Night

**Author's Note:**

> So I genuinely don't have any idea what this is going to be like, but all I know is that I'm writing when I can. The first chapter is shorter and less detailed than the rest mainly because it's an introduction, but hopefully you guys see it as a good start! Enjoy!
> 
> I do not own the Umbrella Academy characters, only Nim is an original character so far.

_Thump. Thump. Thump._

 

Nim shot up in her bed, eyes quickly searching for the source of the sound. Her hand reached for the gun tucked under the mattress as she noticed a silhouette outside the window, heart racing as she slowly slid out from under the covers.

 

_Just breathe. In. Out. It’s probably nothing._

 

She pressed her back against the wall, bracing herself before quickly opening the window and aiming the gun.

 

“Oh hey—Oh my _God_ Nim put down the gun!!”

 

She blinked and let her shoulders relaxed, the shriek echoing in your mind as she took in the man in front of her.

 

“Klaus?” she asked, brows raised as she lowered your firearm.

 

“Don’t pretend to be so surprised,” he huffed, pushing her out of the way so he could climb off the fire escape and into her apartment.

 

“Trust me, I ain’t pretending,” she murmured in return, closing the window behind him. “I haven’t seen you in three years. Last I heard you got into rehab for the _eleventh time_.”

 

“Well you know what they say, eleventh time is the charm.”

 

“Right… I’m not even going to start arguing with you about that,” she huffed, walking around the bed to place the gun back beneath the mattress. “So, what can I help you with? And how did you get here?”

 

“What, you seriously don’t know why I’m here?”

 

“Should I?”

 

“Well, considering daddy dearest was an absolute ass—“

 

“Not that I disagree, but he wasn’t my father.”

 

“—But we all thought you would at least show up at the funeral.”

 

Nim turned to face Klaus directly, her face softening for a millisecond before hardening yet again. “Hargreeves is dead?”

 

He cocked his head at her, eyes flickering over her expression before letting out a soft breath. “You really didn’t know.”

 

It wasn’t a question, her face said it all. Nim hadn’t seen the man since you turned nine, since she ran away from home when she could no longer handle the pressure of her training. She had decided to keep in touch with her ‘siblings’, if she could even call them that, but rarely got the chance to really see them. She would hear about Luther and Diego occasionally, with the latter leaving her notes at her office so that she knew he was okay. She tried to get coffee with Vanya as often as possible, but the two of them were surprisingly busy. And Klaus? Well, Klaus would show up at her apartment every few years since she got your own place at age sixteen. He and Diego had been the first people she contacted when she was kicked out of her adoptive home, and in Klaus’ own, weird way, he did whatever he could to help her feel less lonely.

 

“… So I missed the funeral?” She asked quietly, keeping her eyes on the ground.

 

“Yeah, you did… But don’t worry, Five didn’t show up either.”

 

“What a surprise.”

 

“Actually, if you want a real surprise then I should probably mention that he’s back.”

 

“Huh. You’re really trying to give me some sorta stroke today aren’t you?”

 

“Is it working?”

 

“Unfortunately not. Alright, you know what, I know it’s three in the morning,” she started, giving him a pointed look because, seriously, who the hell did he think he was trying to barge into her place in the middle of the night? “But maybe we should head back to the academy.”

 

“You? Want to go back to the academy?”

 

“Isn’t that why you came all the way here? To drag me back?”

 

“Of course not, I was just wondering how you were holding up. I had Diego drop me off here, he had to drive somewhere and refused to take me along,” he huffed, a small pout forming on his lips as her eyes lit up.

 

“Diego was here?”

 

“Yeah he was, why?”

 

“Why? I haven’t seen him since our twenty-first birthday, that’s why.”

 

“If it helps he didn’t really ask why he was dropping me off here. Really, Y/N, he seemed panicked. But come on! Let’s go to the academy, I’m sure everyone will be happy to see you.”

 

“Yeah, okay, let me just… let me just get a few things,” she mumbled, grabbing her gun yet again and an overnight bag that she had stashed in her closet. “Come on, I’ll drive.”

 

“Good, I really don’t think I’m in a position to be driving right now.”

 

“Are you ever?”

 

“… Good point, but really, can you blame me?”

 

“Honestly? No. But let’s get going; and this time we’re using the actual door.” 

* * *

The academy had never seemed so empty. Then again, she _was_ the first one to leave the estate, being least capable of handling the pressure Hargreeves had placed on her and the rest of the Umbrella Academy

 

_“How do you expect to fight when you cannot control yourself, Number Eight!?” His voice made her cower, pulling her legs closer to her body as she stayed hidden under the dining room table. “It is as if you are not even trying to cooperate! I suppose you and Number Seven really are not worthy of being here, are you?”_

_She waited under the table until she was certain he was gone, her bottom lip trembling as she began to cry quietly. Five had snuck into the room soon after and convinced her to come back to her bedroom, where Diego and Vanya joined while Hargreeves worked with Klaus._

“Who’s there?” The voice snapped her out of the memory, causing her head to shoot up to glance at the top of the staircase.

 

“Nimue.”

 

“Hey Allison.”

 

She watched as she rushed down the steps and walked up to her, conflicting emotions flickering over her face. For an incredibly famous actress she sure didn’t know how to hide what she was really feeling.

 

“It’s been a while.”

 

“That’s the understatement of the year and you know it.” She paused before hugging her, causing her fingers to twitch in discomfort before she finally returned the gesture. “How have you been?” She asked as she pulled away.

 

“I’ve been fine, haven’t been up to as much as you have, believe me. Seems like you’ve been really busy.”

 

“Well, I got lucky for a bit, but now… It’s good to be back with family.”

 

Family. That was hardly true for her; she had always refused to refer to them as her family members, simply referring to her ‘parents’ by their names and the other children as her childhood friends. The discomfort was clear on her face, causing Allison to step away and glance at Klaus.

 

“I… I guess I’ll let you settle in. I’ll see you for breakfast.”

 

The two of them walked away, leaving her standing at the entrance. Twenty-one years. Twenty-one years that she hadn’t regretted stepping out of the academy. And yet now she couldn’t help but feel a pang pf guilt in her chest. Every single one of the other children suffered, and she should have been there for them. Breaking up the only constant group they had in their lives was not the right thing to do, she knew that. Hell, she must have suffered nearly as much as they had, except... well, they had each other. She hadn’t seen any of them for at least seven years after she left, and everyone felt isolated. You had no right to leave.

 

“Stop,” she murmured to herself, running a hand through her hair as she let out a sigh.

 

Nim made her way into the living room and settled down on the sofa, curling up in a ball as she let her eyes flutter shut. Hargreeves would have had a heart attack if he knew she was sleeping on one of his leather sofas with her shoes on. And it would have totally been worth it.


	2. Family Affair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wrote this late at night because I had an idea for the chapter and I just had to get it out. Hope you enjoy!
> 
> Make sure to comment if you're liking it, I tend to forget about fics easily and I really don't want to leave this one unfinished.

Nim woke up to the sound of yelling outside the living room door. _Sure is good to be home_. She couldn’t believe how well she had slept, considering she was on a tiny couch that was nowhere near as comfortable as her bed, and in a place she had feared coming back to since her childhood. Maybe there was a weird sense of comfort to this hellish place after all. She stretched herself out on the couch, brows shooting up as she kicked a blanket off of her.

 

“Ah, Miss Nimue, you’re awake. You seemed cold in the middle of the night, I wanted to make sure you were comfortable.” She stood up with a grin as Pogo came into her line of sight, walking directly towards him and giving him a hug. He looked much older, unsurprisingly, but she would recognize him anywhere. Not because he was a chimp, although that did make it much easier to spot him, but because he had been the only real ‘adult’ in the academy who had taken care of her while she was there. Sure, mom did her best, but Nim couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable around her, knowing she was programmed by Hargreeves.

 

“It’s been much too long.”

 

“It really has, hasn’t it? I hope you didn’t miss me too much.”

 

“I realize that that is sarcasm, but in all honesty the academy was very bleak once you left. Your father did not show it but he was grieving, much like when Five had left.”

 

“Reginald Hargreeves does not grieve, he manipulates.” She responded absentmindedly, holding her breath once she realized what she had said. Her expression fell slightly as she looked at Pogo, resting a hand on his shoulder in an attempt to comfort him. “But I do know how much he meant to you. I’m sorry for your loss.”

 

“No matter. You are all together again, that is all that matters.” Her heart began to swell as she smiled down at Pogo. No one in the academy cared for all of them as much as he did. She wished she could show him that he deserved better than devoting his life to Hargreeves, but she knew it would be useless; Pogo was loyal through thick and thin, and if he was loyal to Hargreeves from the beginning then nothing was ever going to change that.

 

“Now, I believe there is breakfast for you, but unfortunately you will have to go through the arguing first.”

 

“Of course I do, otherwise I wouldn’t really be home, would I?” She felt herself relax as Pogo’s face lit up and decided to give him one last hug before walking into the foyer.

 

The first thing she noticed was Luther’s back facing her, and she couldn’t help but stare. _Dude’s jacked, maybe I should go to the moon and do whatever he’s doing_.

 

“You have no right to be here if all you’re going to do is mock him! He took care of us for our entire lives, he is the only reason we were even accepted in society!” She could hear his voice break, and although she always disagreed with him when she lived in the academy she still couldn’t help but feel bad for him. He dedicated his entire life to appeasing Hargreeves, and now that he was gone he no longer had someone to make him feel validated.

 

“He was a horrible man and you know it! For fuck’s sake, he sent you to the _moon_! What, you think any sane parent would send their supposed child to another planet just for the sake of science? How can you still be so ignorant after all these years?”

 

Diego. Her heart skipped a beat and a small smile played at her lips as she leaned back against the door to the living room. Nine years. Nine years and that damn brat still had a ridiculous hold on her that she would never understand. They had been best friends before she left, spending most of their time together whenever they could. They were both eager to learn, but when Diego went on confidently and learned his craft, Nim couldn’t help but do everything in her power to subdue her abilities. If she was going to master her abilities she wanted to do it herself, not with an old man breathing down her neck every step of the way. She and Klaus ended up growing closer over their abilities once she had left the academy, and they helped each other stay sane. Klaus _did_ use drugs to help, sure, but she liked to think she was still helping in some way. But Diego never understood why she gave up on her abilities. He would try to convince her to practice using them over the years, but she never could. Not when she finally felt like she had a normal life.

 

“I’m not being ignorant, I’m being reasonable. He raised us when our biological families gave up on us so easily—“

 

“Oh come on, he paid them! You know what makes you think they just gave us away? The fact that he was such a shitty father!”

 

“That is _not_ true!”

 

“Oh, yeah? Then why didn’t he care when Ben died? You want to tell me that when someone’s son dies they just keep living like nothing even happened? And how about when Five disappeared?” He asked, motioning to an empty space beside him. Just then the boy appeared and you felt your smile widen. He really was back, and the poor kid looked like he still hadn’t gone through puberty. Actually, now that she was thinking about it, he also looked like he hadn’t slept in about seventeen years. “Or how about the fact that he drove Nim out of this house for good?”

 

“Well, clearly it wasn’t for good, otherwise she wouldn’t be standing right there,” Five mumbled, bringing a reusable coffee mug to his lips.

 

The foyer went silent. Luther turned his head and looked at her like he was hallucinating, taking a step away in shock. Sure, they kept tabs on one another, but it wasn’t as if they had seen each other since she left. He kept stumbling backwards, the shock apparent in his expression.

 

“What? Do I have something on my face? I swear, I stopped drooling in my sleep years ago, it definitely isn’t spit,” she said quickly, wiping down her face with the palm of her hand. She wiped under her eyes, trying to clean up the smudged eyeliner she no doubt had after sleeping on the couch.

 

“You’re here?”

 

“Yep. You know, it’s kinda funny that the man who lives on the moon is more likely to be back in this house than the woman who ran away from home at age nine.”

 

“Yeah… funny… I can’t believe you’re here,” he said softly, finally walking towards her confidently and lifting her into his arms for a hug.

 

Nim let out a laugh as she tried to relax into the hug. “I know we haven’t seen each other in over two decades, but I feel like I should tell you I’m still not a hugger.”

 

“Shut up. We haven’t seen each other in over two decades,” Luther mumbled back, giving her one last squeeze before setting her down on the ground. “It’s good to see you again.”

 

“It’s good to see you again, too, Space Boy,” she replied with a wink, punching his shoulder teasingly. “How was the moon?”

 

“You really want to know?”

 

“Uh, yeah, I kinda do. I know an astronaut? Sounds like a fucking incredible icebreaker for first dates, but I can’t use it if I don’t know more details.”

 

“Really? So the fact that all of us have superhuman abilities isn’t enough of an icebreaker?”

 

She shrugged, pursing her lips in thought. “It is, but I’ve been using that line for way too long… think it’s time to switch it up a bit, don’t you?”

 

Luther laughed and shook his head slightly, a wide smile gracing his features. “I’m glad you’re back.”

 

“Yeah, don’t get used to it. It’s good to be back but who knows how long that’ll last?”

 

He smiled understandingly and nodded, opening his mouth to speak when a sigh was let out behind him. Right, Diego. Luther turned to look at him and she finally caught a glimpse of him for the first time since she arrived at the academy.

 

Luther cleared his throat and looked over at Five, raising his eyebrows. “Let’s, uh, go get breakfast,” he mumbled, quickly walking out and leaving the two of you together.

 

The silence was deafening. Everything else seemed to blur as her focus zoned in on Diego. How do you start a conversation with someone who had meant so much to you for so long and haven’t seen in what feels like an equally ridiculous amount of time? Even when they were teenagers and reconnected with him and Klaus, the two of them had been able to pick up each conversation where they had left off without thinking twice. It didn’t matter how long they hadn’t seen each other, they were always on the same wavelength, always looking out for each other. They were never apart for too long after their reunion, until the eve of their twenty-first birthday. He had disappeared from her life almost entirely, the only time she would hear from him were when he left her notes reassuring her that he was doing fine (and by that they both knew he meant still alive).

 

“The Specter has returned.” His voice was gravellier than she had remembered, but she wouldn’t be surprised if that was only because he was still upset with her.

 

“You know I don’t go by that anymore.”

 

“You don’t go by Number Eight anymore either, so what am I supposed to call you?”

 

She rolled her eyes at him, wanting to walk closer, but her feet felt like they were stuck to the ground. “I don’t know, Kraken, what are you supposed to call me?”

 

That earned her a small grin that she couldn’t help but mirror. She was starting to feel comfortable again, but it was clear that Diego wasn’t. He tried to erase his smile as soon as it appeared, his eyes shifting away from her.

 

“You shouldn’t have come back here.”

 

“I’m sorry, what?”

 

“You heard me.”

 

“You literally just used me as an example to prove to Luther that Hargreeves was a dick, and now you’re upset that I’m back?”

 

“I was just showing him that he drove people away, it wasn’t an invitation for you to just show up here again.”

 

Her blood was boiling. The one person she trusted the most (other than Klaus, who would cry on her shoulder if she ever told him that in person) was turning her away.

 

“No. I have just as much of a right to be here as you do, and you know it. You want me to leave then you’ll have to make me, but we both know that it’ll just get ugly.”

 

Neither of them were about to back down, and they both knew that. The last thing Nim wanted was to stay mad at Diego, but if he wasn’t going to be reasonable then was it really her fault? They were always known as the two most stubborn members of the academy, and it definitely wasn’t something that changed about either of them over the years.

 

They stood there for what felt like an eternity before she could see Diego crack. The tension in his shoulders disappeared and his body began tilting forward, preparing to stride directly towards her. She watched him intently, bracing herself for whatever was to come. However, she was definitely not prepared for the tight embrace that enveloped her once he was close enough. She felt her body tense up yet again, but she forced herself to hug him back. They had both been through so much, and in all honesty, she needed both him and Klaus more than she liked to admit. She let out a sigh as he tightened her grip, eyes falling shut as she breathed through the contact. She could make exceptions for the special people in her life, and if Pogo, Klaus and Diego weren’t all of them then she definitely needed to reevaluate her priorities.

 

He finally stepped back and she felt air fill her lungs once again, a hesitant smile tugging on her lips.

 

“You know, I said you shouldn’t have come back. That doesn’t mean I don’t want you to stay now that you actually are here.”

 

“Oh, yeah? Gee, I really appreciate it, Diego. I definitely owe you one,” she drawled, an unimpressed expression gracing her features, causing him to let out a tired laugh.

 

They made eye contact for a few seconds before he pursed his lips and looked away. “I guess we have a lot to catch up on.”

 

“Yeah, I guess you could say that.”

 

“Let’s get you fed then, we have the entire day after that.” She nodded in agreement and began walking towards the kitchen, feeling Diego place a hand between her shoulder blades to guide her.

 

She always imagined that when she returned to the academy it would feel much smaller than she remembered, but looking around it now she couldn’t help but still be taken aback by its size. The academy would have been the dream home for any young child as long as Hargreeves was out of the picture.

 

She felt herself stop breathing momentarily as she stepped into the kitchen. Looking around the room, she realized nearly everyone was there. The only two people missing were Vanya and Ben, but she couldn’t help the wave of emotion that washed over her. They almost looked like a real family.

 

“You’re awake! I was going to wake you up earlier, but Pogo threatened to chase me out of the living room with a newspaper and honestly it was a weirdly terrifying threat.” Klaus pouted slightly but then waved her over wildly, motioning for you to sit by him before beginning to pour cereal into a bowl for her.

 

“It’s a good thing he did, otherwise I’d be the one doing it and we both know you’d be much more afraid if it was me.”

 

“Can’t argue with that. Look at us! Everyone around the kitchen table again. Who knew that miserable old man would reunite us all?”

 

Five cleared his throat loudly, drawing attention to himself as he lowered his mug from his lips. “Not to ruin your ‘this is an insane coincidence’ moment, but I’d like to remind you that this is dad we’re talking about. Of course he would go ahead and die to reunite all of us, the man was psychotic but he definitely knew what he was doing.”

 

“Five’s right,” Allison spoke up, standing straight from where she had been leaning against the counter. “Plus, Luther said he was warned that something bad was coming, maybe this is bigger than we think.”

 

“Bigger than we think? No, this is just dad being the world’s worst father, as usual. If something bigger is going to happen then the asshole is going to try and make it all about himself. We would have found out about it without him dying, we would have found each other separately if it was really that serious. This is just him trying to be the center of attention one last time.”

 

“Diego, you ever think that maybe your hatred for dad clouds your judgement?” Klaus asked, perching his chin on his hand.

 

“You ever think your drugs cloud _your_ judgement?”

 

“Touché, I deserved that,” he muttered, leaning back in his chair. Nim couldn’t help but chuckle under her breath, placing a hand on his shoulder reassuringly.

 

“Nim, you’ve been awfully quiet. What do you think?” Five asked, locking eyes with her.

 

“I…” She glanced between him and Diego, lowering her head slightly. “I have to agree with Allison. This isn’t just about Hargreeves making everything about himself, if it was then he would have contacted us in some other way. But warning Luther and then suddenly dying a few days later? That can’t possibly be a coincidence.” She could feel Diego’s glare on her but she kept her eyes on Five, who nodded approvingly.

 

Diego stormed out of the kitchen and Nim couldn’t help the guilt that crept over her, deciding to turn her attention to her now soggy breakfast. That’s what she gets for speaking her mind after all these years.

 

Allison and Luther glanced at one another, and suddenly they were both heading out of the room, mumbling under their breaths about something along the lines of ‘making sure Diego didn’t destroy the house’.

 

“And then there were three,” Klaus chirped, smiling to himself as he looked between Five and Nim. His eyes flickered back and forth before he finally rolled them and hopped out of his seat, walking behind Nim and placing his hands on her shoulders. “I’ll be waiting for you in my bedroom when you decide to be fun again.” And with that he was off, leaving her with Five.

 

“So, it’s Nim now, is it?”

 

“It is.”

 

“Weird name.”

 

“Short for Nimue.”

 

“That’s… even weirder.”

 

“Yeah, well, when your adoptive parents are really into medieval literature then you really don’t question it.”

 

Five let out a hum of content, raising an eyebrow at her. “I’m guessing you weren’t the only child?”

 

“Nope, and every single name was worse than mine. Luckily I could actually shorten it to something reasonable.”

 

“I suppose that’s fair.” There was an awkward moment for a few seconds before she cleared her throat, pushing her bowl away from herself.

 

“So you’re still going by Five?” That earned her a shrug as he raised his mug to his lips, setting it down angrily once he realized it was empty.

 

“You know what they say, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”

 

“Makes sense.”

 

“You know you can just ask me instead of making subpar small talk.”

 

“Hey, I haven’t seen you in years, this isn’t just small talk.” He stared at her pointedly and she let out a groan, throwing her head back in annoyance. “Fine. What’s the future like? Why didn’t you come back sooner? Why are you still a fucking child? Wait, should I be swearing in front of you?”

 

“I miscalculated a few things, so, tragically, this is still my body. However, I can assure you that my mind is much older than I am, and you can swear as much as you like. It hasn’t stopped anyone else.” He sat forward and set his forearms on the table, hands clasped. “I need this to stay between the two of us. I told the others that the future was terrible, but Nim, I need you to promise you keep this to yourself.”

 

Her eyes widened and her lips parted, about to speak before he cut her off.

 

“That means no telling Klaus, and especially no telling Diego,” he said quietly, his eyes burning holes into her own.

 

“Five—“

 

“I know you have told them everything over the years, but you need to promise me you won’t. Not until I’m sure they’re ready.”

 

“And I’m ready to know… whatever this is?”

 

“I know you, Nim. I know the others. You take action, but you’re not the type to spring right into it like the others. You calculate your moves, and that’s exactly what we need right now.”

 

She thought it over, her eyes never wavering from his as she took in what she could. He looked desperate, as though it was his only choice. And who was she to take that away from him?

 

“Okay. I promise.”

 

“The future was terrible, but it was worse than any of could have imagined.”

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

“The world ends in seven days. That means everything is gone, and we have seven days to find a way to stop it.”

 

Her heart stopped. This couldn’t possibly be true, could it? Maybe Five was testing her, trying to see if he could really trust her before telling her the truth. But the look in his eyes told her otherwise, and suddenly she felt light headed.

 

“I don’t understand.”

 

“Let me put it this way. In seven days, we’re all dead. In seven days, thirteen-year-old me find your, Allison, Luther, Diego and Klaus under the rubble of this building, and it will happen unless we find out what or who causes it.”

 

“Five—“

 

“I know it sounds insane. Think it over, please, and when you’re ready just come back and talk to me. The others aren’t ready to know yet, they’d only complicate things.”

 

“So where do I come into play?”

 

“I need you to help me come up with… some sort of plan. I know you don’t have much to go on, but if anyone in this insane family has a usable brain then it has to be you.”

 

She nodded dumbly, her mouth still hanging open slightly as she processed the information.

 

“Yeah, okay. I’ll do whatever I can to help.”

 

“Thank you. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some errands to run today. I’ll see you tomorrow, Nim. I trust you.”

 

“I won’t let you down.” 

* * *

 

“Can I ask you something?”

 

Nim and Klaus were in her bedroom, with Nim’s head hanging upside down from her bed as Klaus sprawled out on the ground. He took a drag as she nodded, making a grabbing motion until he handed over the joint.

 

“Do you regret leaving?”

 

“You ask me that every time we hang out.”

 

“And you point that out every time I ask you about it. Don’t you think it’s time you answered?”

 

She let out a loud sigh and closed her eyes as she brought the joint to her lips. _In. Out._ She handed it back to him with a cough, her eyes watering as she cleared her throat.

 

“I don’t think I do.”

 

“But?”

 

“But I missed out on so much, you know? We could have been doing this ages ago, but instead we missed out on all this quality time we could have had.” She thought about the times she and Klaus would lay around her room in the middle of the night as little kids, giggling under her blanket as they talked about nothing and everything.

 

“Mhm, I understand that.”

 

“But Hargreeves was the _worst_.”

 

“Oh, the absolute worst.”

 

“I genuinely think I would have preferred to be chased by a hoard of angry villagers like Frankenstein’s monster than have to live here for my entire life. I don’t know how you did it.”

 

“Well, once I was old enough I was introduced to this thing called drugs, and I have to tell you, it really revolutionized my life,” he replied, making her giggle.

 

“Amen to that, where would we be without these toxins?”

 

“I wouldn’t have been in rehab that much.”

 

“That’s basically the main component of your personality at this point.” Klaus sat up abruptly, joint hanging between his lips as he threw his arms up.

 

“I know! See, this is why I’ve missed you, no one else understands that.” She let out yet another laugh, her eyes fluttering shut once again as she stretched out on her bed. Her legs were propped up against the wall, her arms buzzing as she lifted them above her head.

 

“Klaus?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Were you mad at me after I left?”

 

There was a moment of silence, causing her to open her eyes and take a look at the man. He looked conflicted, and she felt herself deflate yet again.

 

“I wasn’t mad. I just missed you,” he mumbled, flipping onto his stomach as he passed her the joint.

 

“You could have still been mad at me, though.”

 

“But I wasn’t. I just missed you. Diego was definitely mad at you.”

 

“What a surprise,” she murmured, handing the joint to him before rubbing her eyes.

 

“I’ve seen him mad plenty of times throughout his life, but man, nine-year-old Diego was one of the scariest things I’ve ever seen.”

 

“Yeah? How about thirty-year-old Diego right now?” The two of them looked up immediately and Nim let out a loud laugh, making Klaus scramble up to his feet.

 

“You know what, yeah, thirty-year-old Diego is very much scaring the shit out of me right now. If you’ll excuse me, I have, uh, some things to tend to.” He sprinted out of the room, and Nim was almost one hundred percent sure she saw a cloud of dust shaped like Klaus follow him out of the room.

 

Diego stood awkwardly at the entrance, rocking back and forth before clearing his throat. “Can I…?”

 

“Oh, yeah! Of course,” she muttered quickly, sitting up and straightening her shirt. She reached over to her bedside table, grabbing a bottle of water and hoping that it would calm her rumbling stomach for now. She patted the space next to her on the bed, offering him a smile. “Sit down.”

 

He did as he was told, perching himself on the edge of her childhood bed and rubbing his hands together. He looked nervous, but she dismissed it, thinking it was only because the last time they had seen each other they had been on bad terms. Yet, the more she waited, the more nervous he seemed to be, and she couldn’t help the uncomfortable churning she felt in the pit of her stomach as she watched him.

 

“Is everything alright?” Her tone was soft, concerned. She reached out gingerly, placing a hand on Diego’s shoulder carefully. It seemed to do the trick because he looked up, and he finally turned to her directly.

 

“I just needed to talk to you for a bit. It’s been a long time.”

 

“It really has.”

 

“… You know, I wasn’t really mad at you. That was just Klaus exaggerating.”

 

“You don’t have to lie, we may have been nine, but it was still an asshole move, and you had every right to be mad at me.”

 

Diego drew in a breath, nodding. They had never spoken about her leaving before, when she contacted him and Klaus at age sixteen they were both just relieved to hear from her, and Klaus was the only one who ever attempted to bring it up again. Diego, however, liked to pretend that it never happened, and she was somewhat grateful. She knew she would feel even guiltier if it ever came out that he didn’t trust her anymore, but she supposed it was time to hash things out.

 

“It sucked. It was probably one of the shittiest things that’s happened in this house, and that’s saying a lot.”

 

“Yeah, it really is.”

 

“Hargreeves took us away from everything and brought us here, and once I started thinking there were actually some people that made this hellhole feel bearable, you just disappeared.”

 

“I had to.”

 

“I know you did, but that doesn’t make it any better. You didn’t even say anything. You could have told me.”

 

“You would have talked me out of it,” she retorted, removing her hand from his shoulder and bringing her knees up to her chest.

 

“Yeah, I would have, because we were _nine-years-old!_ ” Nim winced at his tone and looked away, trying to swallow the lump that was forming in her throat. She deserved this, she knew she did, but that didn’t make it hurt any less.

 

“I just can’t help but wonder how different things would have been if you stayed.”

 

“Who knows. I could have ended up like Luther, or Klaus, or Ben. If you ask me, I’m glad I got out when I did.”

 

“I know.” She finally looked back up at Diego, offering him an apologetic, yet forced smile.

 

“I guess that just needed to be said.”

 

“I get that, I’m not mad at you, I’m mad at myself.”

 

“Really? You’re not mad at me? It’s been nine years.”

 

She raised her eyebrows, pulse picking up. “You really want to talk about this?”  

 

“You’re high as a kite, when else will we ever have a serious conversation about this? Or any conversation about this?”

 

“Fair point.”

 

He kicked off his shoes and turned on the bed, sitting in front of her with crossed legs as he took in a deep breath for preparation. “Alright. Let me have it.”

 

“What do you remember from that night?”

 

“Honestly? A lot more than I wish I did.”

 

“Diego.”

 

“I’m sorry,” he started off quietly, shifting his gaze as the memories came rushing back.

 

_Diego, Klaus and Nim had gotten into a club as the clock struck midnight, a rush of excitement filling the three of them as they ran to the closest bar to order drinks._

_“Can you believe it? We can finally drink this shit legally!” Klaus whooped as he grabbed a round of shots. “No more having to seduce creeps outside of bodegas to try and get a six pack of beers for free!”_

_The three of them raised their shots before downing them, letting the alcohol burn on its way down. They had taken turns getting rounds of shots before Klaus disappeared, and usually they would have been concerned, except this time around both of them were too drunk to realize what was going on around them. All they knew was that one second he was there, and the next he had completely vanished._

_“Guess that means I only need to buy two shots now!” Diego exclaimed with a grin, going up to the bartender as Nim danced nearby. It wasn’t as if they had never gotten drunk before, but they rarely got the opportunity to do it all together. That meant that when they finally did get to drink, they went_ hard _. Two shots were shoved into her hand and she quickly downed them, one after the other, handing them back to Diego who placed the four shot glasses back on the bar. When he returned he had grabbed Nim’s arm and pulled her towards the dancefloor, a wide grin on his face. She couldn’t remember the last time he looked so carefree. In all honesty, it was a good look on him._

_“I love this song!” She yelled over the music, grabbing his hands and jumping along as it played. They sang along loudly as ‘American Boy’ played, laughing and twirling each other around clumsily before holding onto one another to make sure they wouldn’t fall down._

_She remembered laughing. She remembered gazing into his eyes and thinking that she had never seen him look at her that way before. There was a softness that was different from his regular kind gaze, one that was mixed with a pain she didn’t quite understand._

_“Diego?”_

_“I need to do something.”_

_“Hey, is everything alright? You know you can tell me anything?”_

_“Can we go somewhere? Where we can talk?”_

_She nodded as he grabbed her hand and pulled her out to the smoking area. It was significantly colder and she felt herself tremble, arms immediately coming up to wrap around herself._

_“Oh, here,” he mumbled, grabbing his jacket from around his waist and draping it over her shoulders._

_“What’s wrong?”_

_“Nothing’s wrong I just… I can’t do this anymore.”_

_“Do what?”_

_“P-pretend like e-everything is normal,” he replied, Nim’s heart aching. His stutter was back. Had she caused it?_

_“Hey, hey everything is okay,” she said softly, reaching out to place her hands on his arms. “Just breathe, okay?”_

_“O-okay.” She watched him breathe slowly, making sure he was calm before speaking slowly._

_“What can’t you do anymore?” She asked, fear lacing her voice._

_“We’ve known each other our entire lives, and I can’t act like we’re just friends at this point.”_

_“What do you mean? Are we not friends?” She asked in a small voice, her brows furrowing together. He shook his head quickly and placed his hands on her cheeks, stepping closer._

_“No, no that’s not what I meant. You’re basically my best friend, you know that. I just… need to do something. And I want you to stop me at any point, okay? Promise me that, Nim.”_

_“I promise.”_

_The first thing she registered was how soft his touch was. For a man who spent his whole life inflicting pain on others, the guy sure knew how to be gentle when it came down to it. Her eyes shut slowly as she leaned up into the kiss, placing her hands on his chest as he moved in closer. She hadn’t considered this before. Diego and Klaus were the two people she trusted the most, the two people who knew her better than anyone in the world, but she never thought she would end up in a club on her twenty-first birthday, making out with one of the only people she truly cared about. She could feel him pull away and she quickly placed a hand on his cheek, pulling him back as she nipped at his lip. How had she never thought about this before? It was better than it had ever been with anyone else. It felt right. She knew she loved Diego, but who knew she might have been_ in _love with him all this time?_

“Nim?” Diego’s voice was gentle as he coaxed her out of her memory, a concerned look on his face.

 

“You ran away from me that night.” He shrunk slightly, a guilty look on his face.

 

“I did. I didn’t mean to.”

 

“No, you didn’t mean to, but I didn’t see you again up until… well, up until today.”

 

“We were drunk, and I didn’t want you to think I had taken advantage of you.”

 

“And you couldn’t have told me that the next day?”

 

“Nim, what do you want me to tell you? That I wish I could undo it all? Because I do. We wasted nine years because I couldn’t deal with that night, and trust me that’s insane because I’ve dealt with a lot of other bullshit.”

 

“You could have just said it was a mistake.”

 

“A mistake? No, it wasn’t a mistake, I knew what I was doing.”

 

“Then what the hell, man?”

 

“I was young. I was in love with you, and I was scared. I thought you’d end up cutting off ties with me for a while, so I decided it would be easier if I did it myself. Neither of us needed those kinds of distractions in our lives, you were working three different jobs, I was at the police academy… neither of us had time.” She looked at him for a little while, head cocked as she studied his face.

 

“Don’t you think that that was up for me to decide?”

 

“I… I didn’t think you’d want anything to come of it.”

 

“Honestly? I didn’t either until that night. But if we were going to give it a shot and you were just going to run off on your own like you always do then… well, let’s just say I’m glad it didn’t happen, because I’d be much more pissed off at you right now.”

 

“You really think I would have left you?”

 

“Don’t sound so surprised. We both left each other, guess it’s just what we learned from Hargreeves. We’re lone wolves—lone wolves don’t need ‘distractions’,” she responded, quoting him. He nodded slowly and looked down at his hands, pressed together in his lap.

 

“But… now?”

 

“We’re good. As long as neither of us go off again without telling the other.”

 

“Never again,” Diego promised, and Nim nodded. But the small voice in the back of her head echoed her promise to Five, and she couldn’t help but think that her next departure would be much sooner than either of them had expected.

 

“Hey, stay here tonight, we have a lot to catch up on.” She smiled hopefully at his hesitance, knowing he would break within a matter of seconds.

 

“Okay, but the moment you start snoring I’m out of here.”

 

“Yeah, I still kick in my sleep, you probably won’t wanna be around for that.”

 

Diego let out a small laugh as the two of them situated themselves on her bed comfortably, a content smile on her face.

 

“So, Specter, tell me, what have you been up to in the past nine years?”


	3. Troubled Mind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I'm writing these fairly fast, but that's mainly because I have a lot of ideas right now. Hopefully I'll be able to keep that up, because I do have long term plans for this story.
> 
> Sorry for any spelling mistakes or any grammatical errors! I'm an insomniac who's currently studying at university and the middle of the night is the only time where I can actually find inspiration, so I'll be going in and editing it when I wake up. 
> 
> It's also important that I mention that the fight scene is heavily based on the scene from the show, and therefore all credit goes to The Umbrella Academy.
> 
> Anyways, enjoy!

Nim’s day started off fairly well. She had fallen asleep next to Diego while they were watching a movie on her laptop, not feeling ready to say goodnight after their conversation had ended. It was fun having a conversation with someone outside of her workspace, someone who seemed to genuinely enjoy what they were doing for a living. Plus, actually talking to someone she liked spending time with was much better than the slow, forced small talk she had to deal with whenever she was at the office. She explained how she had ended up working as a magazine editor, paying her enough to help her pay her rent. This was particularly important because she was fonder of working from home, and her bosses trusted her enough to get her job done. Really, being efficient and proficient were probably the two things she was most known for at her office, and she was sure that if she went in every day she would more than likely end up losing her mind.

 

Unfortunately, being known for that in the academy did not bode so well for her. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to help Five stop the apocalypse, but you would think he would have the common courtesy to ease her back into the insanity that followed their ‘family’ around. So as soon she woke up she decided to sneak away from Diego, allowing him to stay asleep in her room as she went to make herself some coffee.

 

_How the hell am I supposed to help him? How do you prepare for the imminent destruction of the planet?_

 

She let out a long sigh, feeling some of the tension escape her shoulders. Right, all she had to do was clear her mind, and maybe, _hopefully_ , something would finally come to her mind. Because if she didn’t come up with anything at all then everyone she cared about would die. And it would be her fault.

 

_Great job keeping your cool, this totally isn’t counteractive, keep at it._

 

She rolled her eyes and let her head drop to the kitchen table, a groan leaving her lips. She could never deal with stressful situations, even if she was the only one who thought about their actions before they did anything. She always made sure to edit everything she received as soon as it came through to her email, refusing to wait for them to pile in her inbox when she could easily get things done. But this? She had no experience that she could tap into to help her save the fucking world.

 

Maybe all of this was just some cruel, practical joke that they had decided to pull on her. Maybe none of them were really okay with her leaving, which is why Vanya was the only one who she hadn’t seen since she returned. Vanya was the only one who truly understood Nim’s need to run, and clearly everyone else had yet to get over it. There was no way that Five would only return a week before the end of the world, right? He knew what he was doing, why would he leave such a small time frame for him to save the world?

 

_I miscalculated a few things…_

 

His voice echoed in her head and suddenly she was starting to realize that it really was happening. Five wasn’t one to lie. Five wasn’t one to hurt her, and if he were to do so then it wouldn’t be through emotional torture. She brought her hands up and rubbed her eyes slowly, her head spinning as she tried to wrap her mind around the facts. Except… She really didn’t know much other than the fact that it was going to happen, and something was telling her that Five didn’t know all that much either.

 

“Oh, good, you’re already here.” Five strode towards the countertop to pour himself a cup of coffee, preparing himself for what would, without a doubt, be one of the most stressful conversations she had ever had. There was an eerie calmness to his confidence, the fluidity of his actions showing he was relaxed. He hummed to himself softly as she watched his back shift with his movements, trying to focus on reality before she inevitably went insane.

 

“I trust you haven’t told anyone about our conversation yet?” He started as he finally sat down, hands clasped in front of him as he let his coffee cool down slightly.

 

“No, of course not,” she responded immediately with a slight shake of her head. “I keep my promises, and you were right; anyone else would lose their head if they found out about this before we had some sort of plan.”

 

He gave her a curt nod in response, reaching into his jacket to pull out a bundled piece of cloth. Nim eyed it carefully as he set it on the table and took out its contents, a look of confusion and slight horror gracing her features as he held up the glass eye.

 

“Do I want to know?”

 

“You should, because whoever this eye belongs to is the reason this all happens in the first place.” He handed it over to her slowly, waiting for her to stretch her arm out so he could place it gently in her palm. After a moment of hesitation, she finally took it from him, a small chill running through her body. Biology was never her favorite subject, and even if it wasn’t real she still couldn’t help the clear discomfort she was exhibiting.

 

“When I found all of you in the rubble, Luther was holding onto it. I know it isn’t a lot, and so far I haven’t been able to follow up on it too much, but if he had access to it then it must have some sort of link, right? I can’t be crazy.”

 

“No, no if we were fighting for our lives and Luther was gripping this… thing in his hand, then it has to have some sort of importance.” She let her eyes flicker up to Five momentarily, searching his expression before returning her gaze to her hand. “Alright, so I guess that’s a start…” She examined it carefully, trying to keep her distance, yet still take in as much as she could. “There’s a –“

 

“A serial number, I know. I have already asked Klaus to help me with it, apparently it hasn’t even been manufactured yet.”

 

She glanced back up at Five as she handed him the glass eye, her brows furrowing as she played it over in her head.

 

“So Klaus knows?”

 

“No, but you know he’ll do anything for some cash.”

 

“Of course, sorry, that was a stupid question. What else do you know?”

 

“Honestly, not that much. You guys died—or, wait, no, _die_ , in battle, but there’s no real evidence pointing towards a specific person other than this.” He wrapped up the eye and placed it back in the inner pocket of his jacket, clearly consumed in thought.

 

“So what you’re saying is…”

 

“We’re fucked, unless we come up with an actual plan.”

 

“Great, sounds like a treat,” she huffed as she leaned back in her seat, bringing her mug up to her lips. She spent her entire life escaping the Umbrella Academy, but she should have known that she would never truly be able to live a life without the damned group.

 

“I can’t imagine seeing everyone dead.”

 

“Trust me, it wasn’t fun. You leave at age thirteen, and the first thing you see is your dead siblings? Total nightmare fuel,” he muttered over the rim of his mug, taking a long sip from his coffee. “Either way, whatever it was, we should have been able to stop it. That was basically what Dad expected from us, wasn’t it? Stop anyone and anything from destroying the world.”

 

“But if we couldn’t do it then maybe this really is bigger than we think,” she mumbled in response, looking away momentarily. “Five, we have to include the others.”

 

“I know, just give me a day or two. I’ll try to figure out as much as I can, and I’ll come back to talk to you as soon as possible. We have to do this somehow, Nim.”

 

“I know.” She focused on the mug in front of her, hoping that it would help her stay focused on the task. She opened her mouth for a second before closing it, worrying that she would end up letting him down. Worrying that in some way, one of her mistakes was what triggered the end of the world.

 

“Maybe this just means that we need to wait until the eye is actually manufactured.”

 

Her statement clearly angered Five. She always knew he was easily aggravated, but the pure aggression on his face was nothing compared to what she had seen in the past.

 

“Really? You think we should spend the next _six_ days before the apocalypse hits just waiting around for some idiot to lose an eye?”

 

“Look, if you have no other leads then what do you expect me to do? This eye? This is the only thing I have to go off of, you can’t expect me to know all the answers. If any of us should know what’s going to happen then it should be you, because, and correct me if I’m wrong, _you_ were the one who spent forty-five years in the future!”

 

He pushed the chair out from underneath him, letting it fall backwards with a loud bang. The kid practically had steam coming out his ears, and Nim was doing her best to mask the fact that her heart was racing in her chest. His glare was cold, his jaw clenched.

 

“You think it’s been easy for me, being gone for that long? You don’t know the first thing about what I had to go through, you ran away to play house with another family, as if it would make anything better. How about instead of relying on me and everyone else, you actually start doing things yourself!?”

 

_Breathe in. Breathe out._

 

Her shadow flickered behind her as she tried to compose herself, rage bubbling up in her chest. It grew behind her as she zoned out entirely, feeling nothing but a pull at her torso.

 

“Nim…” Five’s voice was barely audible as the scene formed behind her, the look of terror settling on his face. He stared as her shadow settled behind her shoulder in the shape of the Handler, a menacing smile on her face.

 

“Have you missed me?” The Handler asked through Nim, cocking her head mockingly.

 

Five threw his mug at the shadow, causing it to ripple as the mug crashed onto the floor. “Get her out of here!” He yelled. He wasn’t prepared to face her again. There was so much he still needed to work through. There was so much he needed to figure out before he could go back there.

 

“Don’t be shy, I know you’ve been avoiding me. It’s very rude of you, Five.”

 

“Five? Is everything okay? I heard something break.” Allison breathed heavily as she ran into the kitchen, eyes flying around the room until they settled on Nim. They hadn’t seen her use her powers for years, not since she would use them to scare them off in the middle of the night when she wanted to be left alone. They had been convinced that she had kept them at bay, but clearly there was an emotional connection to them that she couldn’t break from, no matter how hard she tried.

 

“Nim? Nim, it’s me,” Allison said softly as she ran up to her, her presence breaking the illusion as she placed a hand on her shoulder.

 

Nim’s vision cleared up slowly and she felt her body slump into the seat. “I’m sorry,” she said softly, blinking her eyes for a few moments so she could refocus on her surroundings.

 

Five licked his lips and let out a shaky breath, nodding slowly before picking up his chair. “I think it’ll be best if we’ll continue this conversation later.” And with that he was gone, making her heart pang with guilt. She felt a soft cry escape her and she covered her face, shoulders shaking.

 

“Hey, it’s okay, you’re fine. Everything’s fine, you’re safe.” Hearing those words only made her guilt worse. None of them were safe anymore, not for long, at least. Five was right; she needed to stop relying on others and start thinking herself if she wanted them all to survive.

 

But right now she couldn’t stop. The waves kept coming as she moved a hand to grip her chest, her lungs feeling tight as she attempted to breathe deeply through her sobs.

 

“Come on, let’s get you upstairs,” Allison whispered, making Nim nod as she struggled to get up. She felt weak. It had been months since the last time she had used her powers, and each time it was out of her control. It drained her emotionally and physically, and she knew that if Hargreeves was around he would only say that it was her fault. If only she had practiced more. If only she stayed and learned to control them.

 

They stumbled towards the living room, and Allison asked her if she wanted a drink.

 

“Wh-Whiskey,” she responded through her hiccups, allowing a small laugh to escape as she saw the look on her face.

 

“I think you and Klaus are spending too much time together.” She watched her sister walk towards the bar anyways as she tried to calm herself down. She was so close to being able to breathe, but any time she even thought about it the guilt returned all at once. As soon as the glass was in her hand she brought it up to her lips, ignoring the huff of laughter that Allison let out in response. She stopped occasionally when a sob would escape her lips, causing her to hunch over and making Allison sit down beside her to try and console her.

 

Footsteps made their way towards the room, but Nim couldn’t bear to look up. She knew seeing someone else would make her feel even worse. If seeing Allison made her feel guilty then how on earth was she meant to face everyone else in the house?

 

“Hey, who the fuck is making all that noise?” Diego said as he walked into the room, his knives already placed meticulously in his suit. His gaze found the two of them on the couch and he quickly made his way to Nim’s side, kneeling in front of her to try and get a look at her face.

 

“What the hell happened?”

 

“Diego, you’re overwhelming her.”

 

“Oh, am I?” He responded sharply, glaring at Allison as he set a hand on Nim’s knee.

 

“I-It’s fine,” she hiccupped as she wiped her eyes, bringing the glass back up to her lips and downing its contents. She handed it back to Allison with an apologetic glance, whispering a soft thank you as she took the glass from her hand and went to refill it. She felt the couch shift below her as Diego settled on the other side of her, keeping his hand on her knee and wrapping his arm around her shoulders.

 

“Do you want to talk about it?” She shook her head vehemently, sniffling as she wiped the tears from her eyes again. She hated crying. She hated feeling so helpless, even if it was only for a few minutes. Even when she was a child, she refused to cry around anyone other than Klaus. Sure, everyone knew she was an emotional person, but breaking down in front of other people was something that she never let herself do, and never wanted to do.

 

She took the glass from Allison’s hand once she returned, doing her best to ignore the part of her brain that wanted her to curl up in Diego’s embrace and nap for a while. She hadn’t felt so exhausted in a very long time, and usually she had the chance to pass out for a while, but she couldn’t do it while they were worrying about her.

 

“Five is going to talk to me again, right?” Her voice was small as she glanced over at Allison, hating the pitiful expression on her face.

 

“Of course he is, you two just need some space.”

 

Nim nodded carefully, deciding to give in partially to the warmth Diego was emitting. She leaned her side against him as she raised the glass to her lips, breathing in before swallowing. It was good to have them back, even if they weren’t really her family. She knew that the members of the academy would do anything to protect one another (that included Diego and Luther, even though they would both say otherwise), and maybe that was the kind of comfort she needed to feel. Yet, at the same time, the idea of getting reattached to all of them less than a week before they were all set to die didn’t seem right. She would not only be hurting herself, but if they put her trust in her and found out that she had been keeping Five’s secret from them then they would very likely end up being pissed at her.

 

_Maybe that’s exactly what you need. Maybe making them mad at you is what will make all of this so much easier._

 

“I think you’re right… I threw myself back into this mess without even considering the toll it would take, maybe I do just need some space.” She downed her drink yet again, feeling the alcohol warm her from the inside as she pulled away from Diego. She moved to stand up, her legs shaking slightly. She could feel his hands coming up to help but she swatted them away, inhaling sharply. She needed to keep them away. It was the only solution.

 

“Nim, are you sure? We’re here for you,” Allison spoke up, standing beside her and reaching out. She flinched before her hand could reach her, and the hurt look on her face made her stomach churn.

 

“I’m fine. I can deal with it myself, it’s not like I’ve needed you guys since I left.”

 

She walked away before she could see any of their expressions, her heart aching at the thought. She was doing the right thing, wasn’t she? She was saving the people she loved, and sometimes that meant sacrificing her relationships with them.

 

_I wish Five had never said anything to me._

 

She made her way up to her room soon enough, shutting the door behind her and throwing the closest thing she could find.

 

_All I can do now is wait and hope that I did the right thing._

* * *

She wasn’t sure how much time had passed by. All she could do was write down ideas to help Five make some sort of progress, scribble them out, and then ball up and throw the pieces of paper on the floor. Every time she thought she was heading somewhere, even just a bit, she would notice a flaw and scrap the entire thing. She didn’t have any time to waste, but at the same time she needed all the time in the world.

 

She pursed her lips as she started another list, writing in big block letters as her hand started cramping.

 

**IDEAS TO HELP FIVE:**

  * **HELP HIM RETRACE WHAT HE SAW IN THE FUTURE:**
    * **WHERE WAS EVERYONE PLACED? WAS LUTHER THE ONLY ONE HOLDING SOMETHING IMPORTANT?**
  * **GO BACK TO MERITECH, TRACK THE SERIAL NUMBERS AND CHECK THE PRODUCTION FREQUENCY: MAYBE THAT WAY YOU’LL BE ABLE TO FIGURE OUT WHEN IT’LL BE PURCHASED**
  * **??? GIVE UP AND JUST DIE, CLEARLY YOU’RE NOT SMART ENOUGH TO HELP SAVE THE PLANET**



 

She ripped the paper from the notebook and balled it up, tossing it behind her shoulder before turning slightly in her chair. She hadn’t realized how much paper she had used until she saw that there was barely any room left to move, and it took everything in her not to yell out in frustration. Five really had made a mistake choosing her, she was useless. She wasn’t really powerful, and clearly she wasn’t smart either. Her ideas would only drag him down, and Five needed someone who could commit themselves without losing their temper. Would she commit herself to the task? One hundred percent. She would do anything she could to help, but she knew it was pointless. He needed someone who would help him lead, not someone who would just sit back and take orders; that was why he hadn’t asked anyone else in the academy to help yet.

 

Nim tried to forget about it all for a few seconds. She knew her stress was getting in her way of thinking clearly, but it didn’t surprise her. Knowing that the end of the world was inevitable was one thing, but knowing that you were the one who had to help stop it or otherwise everyone will die in six days? Yeah, that wasn’t something she was sure she could deal with. So she settled on closing her eyes and focusing on her breathing, clearing her mind for what felt like the millionth time that day as she took in the sounds of the house. Doors down the hall were being shut, there were footsteps overhead, a bath being drawn… everything seemed to be in place. A long breath left her mouth as her eyes fluttered open, staring directly at the wall above her desk.

 

It was strange how even after all those years she still felt as though she owned her room. It had been left untouched since she left, except for a change of sheets. She assumed Pogo had expected her to return much sooner, and the more she thought about it the more she thought she should have.

 

“Now is not the time to regret your past, Nim,” she murmured to herself, picking up her pen again and chewing on the end of it. She was about to put pen to paper when she heard heavy footsteps making their way directly to her room, and she felt her entire body freeze in its spot. She leaned over to the side of the desk where she’d placed her bag, reaching in and feeling around for one of her guns. It was only a precaution, she assumed whoever it was would keep walking past her room, but after all her years of living alone she couldn’t help her reflexes.

 

But when she heard the door knob twist she drew the gun out quickly, only to be greeted by a fuming Diego.

 

“What?” She asked, holding back a wince. Her hands lowered and she placed the gun on the desk, keeping her eyes on the notebook in front of her. She hadn’t expected it to sound so hostile, but the angry look on his face suggested that it was too late for her to take it back.

 

“’What’? That’s what you have to say? What happened to not disappearing from each other’s lives again, huh? I don’t know what you want from me at this point. Last night was the first time in a while where I felt like I could let my guard down because I _trusted_ you, and now you’re giving me the cold shoulder. What, did you decide you were too good for us all of a sudden? Too good for Allison who was doing her best to take care of you?”

 

“I didn’t disappear; you knew exactly where to find me.”

 

Diego gave her an incredulous look, a laugh leaving his parted lips as he shook his head.

 

“It’s true, alright? I don’t know what you want me to say. You know better than anyone that sometimes time alone is what a person needs to reset, I just needed some time to myself.”

 

“Yeah? Well how much time do you need, then?” He asked, crossing his arms over his chest as he glared down at her. “Because it sure sounded like you were going to run out on us again; it’s turned into your signature move, wouldn’t have surprised anyone.”

 

“If you came in here to attack me then you can absolutely fuck right off,” she hissed, gripping her table as tightly as possible to keep herself grounded.

 

_In. Out._

 

“So this is how it’s gonna be? You’re gonna act all helpless and then pretend like we don’t mean shit? Like we don’t care? Because guess what, Nim, if you believe that for even one second then maybe you really should’ve left yesterday.”

 

She bit the inside of her cheeks to keep from attacking back, knowing she deserved it. She didn’t disappear, she stood by that, but she knew that she had betrayed Diego’s trust by running away when things became overwhelming. Nim started speaking, wanting to fill the silence, when she saw him bend over in her peripheral vision.

 

“What is this?”

 

“None of your business,” she replied, getting up on her feet and reaching towards him to snatch it out of his grip. He turned on his heel swiftly, causing her to fall against his back as he straightened out the sheet of paper.

 

“Diego, stop,” she pleaded, gripping onto his shoulder. He pulled out of her hold easily, and all that was left for Nim to do was back away towards her desk in fear of him lashing out.

 

_“I suppose you and Number Seven really are not worth of being here, are you?”_

Her arms came up to wrap around her as she lowered her head, expecting him to turn back around and begin screaming at her. She wouldn’t blame him, really. She only hoped Five would forgive her for allowing Diego to find out only a day after she made her promise to him.

 

_Oh well, he was bound to find out eventually._

 

“What is this?” He repeated, but it was different. There was fear laced into his voice, but his expression hid it well. Unfortunately for him, Nim could read him like an open book.

 

“Why were you writing all of this?”

 

Her heart was hammering against her chest, and she could feel her eyes well up as a result of her stress piling up. Where did she even begin with explaining to him what was going to happen?

 

_Might as well just go for it. Rip it off. Just like a Band-Aid._

“The world is ending in six days and Five asked me to help him come up with a way to stop it. He also told me not to tell anyone until we had a plan but fuck it you know what, the world is _ending_ in six days, the worst thing he could do to me for telling you is kill me, but apparently that’s going to happen anyways so there really are zero repercussions. Five said he has no solid leads and he hoped I’d be able to help him come up with ideas, but clearly I was the wrong choice because who the fuck knows how to stop the world from imploding?” She took a deep breath once she finished her rambling, feeling a certain weight lift from her shoulders until she looked directly at Diego. Maybe telling him was a mistake after all.

 

“The world is ending.”

 

“Yep.”

 

“In six days?”

 

“That’s what Five told me.”

 

“And there’s zero leads?”

 

“Technically there’s a glass eye, but we really can’t follow up on it just yet. Chances are that by the time it’s manufactured and purchased in the present it’ll probably be a day or two before the apocalypse, and, well, following up on it would be pointless. I’m hoping Five can jump back into the future and find some more clues.”

 

“Because otherwise we’re all dead.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

The room fell silent momentarily, and Nim could tell Diego was trying his best to process the information. His emotions were changing far too quickly for her to keep up, and her hands twitched by her sides as she contemplated reaching out to him.

 

“Six days…”

 

“Hey. A lot can be done in six days,” she said, forcing a smile. “If Five thinks we can beat this thing then we probably can.” It was easier convincing others, really. Staying strong for others was what she needed to do. Maybe that way she would actually get somewhere with her brainstorming.

 

“I don’t think that’s completely true.”

 

“See, you’re hurt now. That’s why I didn’t say anything earlier; I was already feeling like shit, you guys wanting to help me is one thing but if that means I’m hurting you in return? Well, it’s not worth it.”

 

“I don’t think you get that I don’t give a shit, Nim. Especially now that there’s less than a week left for us to help Five out. No more secrets, no more lying, and no more running away.” He did his best to keep his voice down, and she couldn’t help but feel grateful. Even if he was mad, he understood her reasoning. And honestly? She was pretty sure she could work with that.

 

“Yeah, okay. I promise. No more hiding things.”

 

“Good, now come on, let’s get you out of here for a bit, and then I can get back to yelling at you until I get it out of my system.”

 

Nim laughed at that, nodding in agreement. “Alright, that seems fair enough.”

 

The door opened with a loud creak, and Diego stepped out. The first thing she heard, other than his footsteps, was the sound of a gun cocking somewhere down the hall. She automatically stepped further back into her room and reached for her own gun, cocking it as she looked out to where Diego was standing. She felt her heart leap when the guns began firing watching as he flung his knives towards the people shooting at him.

 

“Nim, come on! Get out of there!” He called over his shoulder, causing her to spring into action. She sprinted past them and after Diego, her gun clasped tightly in her right hand as she stayed low. They had reached one of the staircases when he turned around to fight one of the masked people – the tall man – and she had never felt more useless.

 

“Keep running! I’ll be fine!” He yelled as she ran slightly past him, hiding behind a corner and aiming her gun at the one who was targeting Diego.

 

“Are you insane? I’m not leaving you here, you’re gonna get killed!”

 

“And if you don’t get out of here then you’re gonna get killed!” He let out a grunt as he head-butted the man, and suddenly he was grabbing her arm and pulling her down the hall as she stumbled, trying to keep up.

 

Once they reached the turn towards the staircase the gunfire started up again. She watched as he hopped over the railing and landed on one of the couches in the living room, but she kept going towards the pillar by the stairs.

 

“Nim! What are you doing!?”

 

She watched as the man ran down the stairs to find Diego, and then reset her aim onto the woman who was approaching just as quickly. Her hands were shaking as her fingers closed in on the trigger, moving back and forth from behind the pillar to taking a look at her opponent. The shots were scattered but luckily she was covered well. She waited until the woman was too close for comfort and pulled the trigger, moving out of the way just as the woman decided to do the same thing. Nim moved away fast enough, but she could hear the woman yell out in pain as the bullet grazed her skin. She took the chance to swing around the pillar and kick her directly in the stomach, pushing her far enough away from the staircase for her to get a head start.

 

She hid under the staircase and held her breath, waiting for the woman to join her partner before taking advantage of them turning their backs on the entrance to the room. Except as soon as she started running, Luther and Allison showed up and took care of them. Nim used that time to run into the living room to make sure Diego was okay, feeling a rush of adrenaline she had never felt before. She slid onto the floor, her knees bringing her directly to the edge of the couch where Diego was hiding.

 

“Are you okay? Are you hurt?” He shook his head as he glanced over his shoulder, trying to gauge the severity of the situation.

 

“How about you? I heard gunshots upstairs,” he whispered, his eyes searching her body for wounds.

 

“I hit her arm, but I’m fine, don’t worry.” She could hear Allison grunt as she fought, and suddenly her sense felt heightened. “We can’t stay here for much longer; they need our help.”

 

They ran from separate sides of the couch, Diego aiming for the man’s back while Nim worked on getting his hand off of Allison’s neck. Luther came up from behind her and managed to move the man, causing him to release Allison out of shock. She grabbed onto her before she could fall down to the floor, making sure she wasn’t injured badly.

 

“How the hell did they get in here?” She choked out, leaning slightly on Nim’s shoulder.

 

The three of them shrugged and Nim turned to face Allison, a remorseful look on her face. She spoke softly, wanting to make sure Allison knew she meant it. “I’m sorry about earlier. I was being an assho—“

 

“It’s fine. You just have to promise me that you’ll help us kick their asses out of here, and then we can forget about all of this ever happening.” They smiled at each other and turned back to the men, who were catching their breath.

 

“You’re welcome,” Luther grunted towards Diego, who was ready to shut him down.

 

“I didn't need your help, and I never do.”

 

“You sure about that? Because from where I was standing it didn't seem like it.”

 

“Guys, now is not the time!” As soon as the words left Nim’s mouth, the gunshots returned, and the four of them ducked. She watched as Allison and Luther ran out of the way, hiding behind the couch as Diego decided to crawl in the other direction.

 

“Luther, go!”

 

She had never felt more tense in her life. She watched as the man entered the room, searching for a new weapon. She was tempted to reach for her own gun, but she knew cocking it would make too much noise. She couldn’t risk it, not when she wasn’t sure if Diego had reached a safe place yet.

 

But suddenly she was no longer worried about Diego.

 

“Hello? Guys, is everyone okay?”

 

_Vanya._

 

She jumped up before she even realized what was happening. She watched Vanya fall onto the table and helped her move out of the way, her blood rushing loudly in her ears as she tried to get her to a safe space that she could escape if she needed to. She walked her towards the back of the living room by the second exit, looking at her wound and wiping away the blood.

 

“If you need someone, just yell. But you’re going to have to do your best to stay out of the way, we can’t have you get hurt.”

 

She was about to leave her when she handed over her gun. Vanya’s eyes were wide and her hands were shaking as she looked at it.

 

“Nim, I… I can’t take it. It’s yours, I don’t even know how to use it.”

 

“It’s pretty simple, really. You’ll get the hang of it,” she responded with a wink. “Stay safe.”

 

Nim didn’t know where to head at that point. She knew that Allison would need help, but since she couldn’t see Diego anywhere she assumed that he had gone to help her. That meant that she had to stay with Luther, who was fighting the man. Except she knew that if she got in the middle of it all he would just end up getting distracted, at least as long as he didn’t show a sign that he needed her help. So she waited in the shadows, her body twitching as she waited to jump into action.

 

She had been convinced that he was taking care of it himself until the man had thrown him over his shoulder, and Nim felt paralyzed. She didn’t have her weapon, she didn’t have enough energy left in her to use her abilities, and she knew for a fact that the man wouldn’t have a problem killing her. So she waited until she saw him leave, trying to move when she heard Allison and Diego approach Luther to help him up.

 

And that was when she saw it. They had managed to get him on his feet, but he was moving slowly. There was a faster movement on the banister that caught her eye, and everything suddenly slowed down.

 

“Get out of the way!”

 

The three of them turned to look over their shoulders as she ran towards them, pushing Diego and Allison with her hands and launching her body at Luther to get him to move. The chandelier clanged as the woman cut it out of its chain, and she felt herself fall flat onto the ground as she shoved Luther further away. She remembered hearing the tearing of Luther’s sweater as he barely made it out of the way, and then suddenly the pain began coursing through her body. Her right shoulder had been impaled, and she knew that she couldn’t move even if she wanted to, which she desperately did. She fought to keep her eyes open as she attempted to wriggle out from under the weight, letting out a whine as the chandelier kept her pinned to the ground. She could barely make out everyone yelling as she blacked out, feeling a hand on her face while the others worked on getting the chandelier off of her.

 

The last thing she remembered was Diego calling her name in a panic as she finally passed out, her head lolling in his hands as her body went limp.


End file.
